Haggistech

We always hear

‘the rules’
From the female side

Now here are the rules from the male side

These are our rules!

Please note…. They are all numbered ’1′ ON PURPOSE!

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1.    Learn to work the toilet seat.   You’re a big girl.   If it’s up, put it down.   We need it up, you need it down.   You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1.    Sunday sports – It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides.   Let it be.

1.    Crying is blackmail.

1.    Ask for what you want..   Let us be clear on this one!  Subtle hints do not work!  Strong hints do not work!  Obvious hints do not work!   Just say it!

1.    Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.   Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.   That’s what we do.   Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.    Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.   In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1.    If you think you’re fat, you probably are.  Don’t ask us..

1.    If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1.   You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.   Not both.   If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1.    Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1.    Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1.    ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.   Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A colour.   Pumpkin is also a fruit.   We have NO idea what mauve is.

1.    If it itches, it will be scratched.  We do that.

1.    If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong..  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1.    If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1.   When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really!

1.    Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, sex, hooters, or  fishing.

1.    You have enough clothes.

1.   You have too many shoes.

1.    I am in shape.   Round IS a shape!  Straight IS a shape! Flat IS a shape!

1.   Thank you for reading this.   Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don’t mind that?   It’s like camping.

So Friday night we decided to go and see Alice in wonderland 3D, so we left the house about 6 and made our way to the Bank. So i am standing there as you do, put the card in, put pin number in and i notice this older woman standing at the machine next to me which i find strange and it has OUT OF SERVICE across it in big letters.

She goes into her bag pulls out a screwdriver and jams it into the space above the screen, my first though is “holy fuck shes trying to rob it”, but no in the next few minutes i find out shes actually a police officer and shes just detatched a card skimmer and camera which records your pin number it looked like this

It was a neat little device with a small camera phone hidden inside that recorded on video what buttons you pressed for your pin number.

After that we went to the cinema, Alice in Wonderland is one of the best films i have seen for ages, Johnny Depp plays a brilliant Mad Hatter and Stephen Fry had the perfect voice for the chilled out Cheshire Cat

I recommend everyone to go and see it!!!

Well theis weekend was a little busier, on saturday night we went to the inlaws and had dinner, me and the QBB made pork meatballs in a homemade tomato sauce with olives, homemade garlic bread etc it was amazing, QBB’s sister brought ingredients which i then made into burgers they were also amazing.

I also found out today that after Friday i will be the only person left at work that started at the same time, there were four of us started at the same time and i am the only one left after Friday

I enjoy weekends, i love having a long lie in the morning, i love just being able to chill out and do what we want.

This weekend was quiet on saturday we went to look at carpets, why has the whole world moved onto cm and metres except carpet shops??

Sunday we did nothing, QBB wisny feeling that great so she had a sleep in the evening and i watched a movie and played Batman on the xbox.

At work today but only 11:30 – 6 so its not too bad, then home have some dinner chill out and ik am off tomorrow to wait on the sky man coming to install the new phone line, why he needs access to the house defeats me.

While sitting with not much to do today i began thinking about old computer stuff that used to keep us amuased or we used to use a long time ago the first few that flooded into my head were, Supercalc, Word Perfect and Space Invaders on the Spectrum

Supercalc i first use don my mums old 286, it was a very very basic spreadsheet program and it looked like this

Then we have Word Perfect again the first time i used this it was on that same old 286. it look like this

What program do you remember using that if they came up now you would just shake a stick at

Ok so i am sitting here in work today, in a meeting and this girl walks past our table, her skirt is so short you could problably see her arse cheeks.

Why do females do this?? is it for attention?? is it daddy issues?? or is it that they are happy walking about in such a short skirt that it screams I AM EASY AND A HUGE SLAG!!!

Its a complete joke, in the summer we are not allowed to wear shorts on hot days as its showing too much skin i suppose, but it seems to be ok for others to wear that short a skirt that you can see what they had for breakfast

RANT OVER!!

Ok so anyone who uses windows and has Internet Explorer as their default browser will have had an update asking them if they want to use an alternative browser.

This has been done as Microsoft lost a court case and have been told to allow users the choice of which browser to use.

What it doe snot tell you is even though lets say you choose Firefox to sue instead, you still need to have internet explorer to do updates. The windows update app on Vista and Windows 7 use the Internet Explorer Engine to do updates and the windows update website itself wont work with any other browser as it runs an ActiveX object which only Internet Explorer can Run

So Microsoft are giving you the choice of which browser to use to surf the web but still force you to us Internet Explorer.

I bought this game yesterday after thinking about it for ages!!!

only managed to play it for about an hour yesterday but it is very good, at first i was not keen on batman being in the left side of the screen all the time, but once you get used to it its the best place for him it leaves the screen open so you can see what ur doing.

The combos and how they work are amazing, can be technical as you want it to be but will also work if you just keep bashing the X key.

I will play some more tonight and see how far i get